Have I accounted for everyone? Raise your hand if I haven’t. Good, all accounted for.
Oh, and animals – or “ani-persons” – or “companions”.
Ooookay.
So, you’re looking at a CSD. That’s right, Total Husband Ron and I got our scuba diving certification this weekend. From now on, I will be signing everything “Mary Jo Pehl, CSD.” Wait – I also have a B.A., so it might be “Mary Jo Pehl, BA, CSD.” I’ll let you know what I come up with.
It was touch and go there for awhile. Do you have any idea, ANY IDEA, how hard it is to get into a wetsuit? Wetsuits are generally made of neoprene, and it’s like trying to pull on a tire that’s too small. Rubber does not slide onto the body, and my suit was a 5 ml, which is pretty thick and makes it even HARDER! It’s like trying to put on too small rubber pantyhose over your whole body – ladies, you know what I’m talking about. Remember the scene in “Gone With The Wind” where Mammy is binding Scarlett into her corset and she has to hold on to the bedpost? TH Ron had to come in to the changing room at the lake where we were taking our final dives, and yank me into the suit – I was too weak to pull adequately. So finally, after much cursing, sweating and tears, I was ready to quit right then and there. But Ron finally packaged me into the wetsuit. It smooshes and smashes your body and you can’t walk very well. I looked like a Tele-Tubby.
We finally got into the lake, and then it was really cool, quite wondrous. But it struck me that for every activity I undertake, I always seem to have a movie-scene point of reference – and it always seems to be of the disaster sort. I’m pretty open to trying new things, pretty adventurous, but underneath all that is a nervous nellie. Scuba seemed like a good idea until Ron and I signed up for classes. Then alllllll I could think of was the movie “Open Water.” I’m sure it sounds silly, but there’s always a movie in my head to fuel up any anxieties I have about trying anything! You name it, I can think of a movie where it went horribly awry!
So our “Open Water” was a small, man-made lake that was cordoned off for our class, seriously, about 50×50 yards, and we could practically walk to the shore if needed, and the chances of us being left behind to be eaten by sharks was quite remote, but still, if movies have taught me one thing, it’s “don’t assume anything.”
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