Like many of us, I am concerned for the health of the Titans who stand.  Because I am weird (ie, *creative*), and because I currently have a maddeningly copious amount of superfluous leisure time, I’ve prepared a short presentation.

The ear is the human organ that the riffsman is most likely to try to impress as he riffs a film.  But did you ever think of the importance of the eye, the importance of what the listener sees as well as hears?

Your appearance may help convince your audience that you know your material. OR it may convince them that you DON’T know your material!  Worst of all, it could EVEN make your audience mistake you for Dana Carvey!

Because your audience consists mostly of people who sat with the cool kids in the high school cafeteria, they will subconsciously judge you by what they see as well as what you say.  Because they’ll see you before they hear you, the hilarity of a brilliant joke will be greatly diminished by poor posture.

 You can see that this man needs help.

This speaker knows his subject, and has good control of his voice, but look at him!  He looks almost too tired to stand up.  A young plant shouldn’t be bent like that, and a middle aged master riffsman shouldn’t either.

If your back is slouchy, your face will look grouchy.  EVEN AND ESPECIALLY IN A SILHOUETTE.  Joel of all people should know this– He’s the one whose quote I stole at the beginning of this paragraph!  (Ed: Well, he’s actually improved a lot since the Oozing Skull.  I’m mostly concerned about his neck and shoulders from constantly looking down at the podium.)

When you stand tall, you look cheerful and bright.  Like a man!

Josh is the He-Man athletic type.  You’ve all seen him—he stands with his shoulders back and his stomach out, and his feet wide apart.  For today, he is the most likely to be crowned the Happy King of Posture.  But if he’s not careful, in another decade or so he’ll likely be adopting some of Trace’s habits.

Right out of the gate, Trace is the type who leans on the railing. Trying to be nonchalant and at ease, he makes himself fairly uncomfortable.

Watch as he balances first on one leg, and then on the other, rocking
back and forth for relief. (eg, around 60 minutes into Doomsday Machine) He’s now the rocking horse type, and he
probably has to go horsies!

This poor fellow isn’t sharp.  He’s weary and confused.  He doesn’t care about us, and he probably doesn’t know what he’s talking about.  And you, Trace, you are puzzled.  Why have your jokes failed?  Mister, you don’t look good, and that’s why!

Now, good posture serves more of a purpose than just making you look better.  It helps you to be comfortable because it keeps you well balanced on the platform. When you stand off balance, your muscles have to work harder to keep you from falling over.

I’m not going to rag on MJ or Frank as much today because they are seated and because sometimes MJ has pretty good posture (eg, the beginning of The Oozing Skull).  And for today, the voices in my head are unanimously voting for Josh as the King of Posture.  But this is mostly a hollow victory because even from his silhouette you can tell he is the youngest of the Titans.  Still, a good appearance is something you should strive for, something everyone can achieve!

If there seems to be some posture improvement in the next couple of episodes, maybe we’ll have a second posture test and crown some more posture royalty.  Until then, I hope the Titans are posture pals unto each other and take care of themselves!

E - >}}}*>

P.S.  I kid because I love.  All criticism is in jest and I find all your jokes that I understand to be hilarious.  Especially Trace’s and Joel’s.  I just am a bit worried about Joel’s back and Trace’s knees… Also, I am a hypocrite, for my own back and shoulders were killing me the whole time I was making this thing, as a result of constantly slouching.

P.P.S.  Just how long is a take anyway?  The only question I have left is how often do you guys get to take a break and sit down?

Ms. Martin, Euphoriafish drew a bong.

Great job!! This was a well thought-out presentation!

I too am concerned about those three standing for so long. Although one’s posture while sitting should also be put into consideration!

Must… stop… laughing…! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ohhhhhh my… that was great!

This is why I love EF so much.

This is just proof that we,..we…MUST SAVE TRACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh yeah,..and Joel too!

There is a real concern here. If you are standing to support yourself, your blood is circulating to your legs, not to your head. As such, you’re not going to have the strength required for riffing. If you insist on standing, might I suggest a nice cup of coffee? You could also get Kickbutt Energy Ballz. I hear they’re one of DisembAudio’s favorites.

Did somebody say COFFEE!!!???

One would hope they’re at least "gellin".

fifthrate said:

One would hope they’re at least "gellin".

That’s it…It’s time for an asswhoopin!!! J/K-that was too good!!

And make sure to use plenty of lip and tongue action. And the knee test.

Ah, man, that was hilarious, efish. The Titans should steal that to uses as a bonus feature on one of the future DVD’s!

Efish, too much time on your hands, really! 

Very funny!

Euphorical-Piscine,

You’re a genius. And hilarious to boot! Nicely done.

RAD 

Thanks everyone I enjoyed making it.  I’m not a genius though, I just have good recall and research abilities.

euphoriafish said:

Thanks everyone I enjoyed making it.  I’m not a genius though, I just have good recall and research abilities.

  don’t sell yourself short, sweetie

Awesome.

Very creative, EF.  :)

Brilliant! :D

nummymuffin said:

euphoriafish said:

Thanks everyone I enjoyed making it.  I’m not a genius though, I just have good recall and research abilities.

---

  don’t sell yourself short, sweetie

I 2nd that!